We all recall memories from time to time. Some are positive and thinking about them makes us feel good. But some are filled with sadness and fear and one is enough to send us down a spiral. It doesn’t mean you are losing your mind. It can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, or even ashamed for not “getting over it.” But here’s the truth: trauma doesn’t operate on a fixed timeline.
Trauma also tends to resurface when your system finally feels safer. Many people notice old memories coming back during periods of stability, not crisis. While this feels confusing, it makes sense from a nervous system perspective. When survival mode softens, the body releases what it could not process before. Even though it feels like you are moving backward, it often indicates readiness for deeper healing.
As a trauma and grief psychotherapist, I’ve seen this happen countless times with clients. They find themselves revisiting painful memories years or even decades later and are often blindsided by their intensity.
The Coil Effect is a real thing…
Trauma often leaves an emotional imprint that doesn’t fade immediately after the event. Past trauma and its memories may reappear, sometimes unexpectedly. The Coil Effect will help you understand it better.
At first, a coil appears round, as if you’re moving in circles. But when you look at it closely, it is actually moving upwards. It suggests that while you’re revisiting these experiences, you’re doing so from a slightly different place each time. These feelings reemerge because you store trauma in your body too. Triggers such as stress, life transitions, or even seemingly unrelated events can bring it forward.
Another important part of the Coil Effect is self-trust. Each time memories return, you likely have more emotional capacity, language, and support than you did before. You may respond differently now and also notice that you better sooner than before. These small shifts go unnoticed but are a sign of recovery.
What can you do when trauma resurfaces
When trauma reappears, your goal should be to stay connected to yourself while it moves through. Healing will open up your tolerance to difficult emotions and at one point they’ll feel less overwhelming.
1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling
Instead of pushing emotions away or invalidating them, acknowledge their presence. Emotions tied to trauma often carry messages about unmet needs or unresolved pain. Letting yourself feel these emotions without judgment helps to validate your experience and start the healing process.
Don’t push away these emotions because they often convey unmet needs or unresolved pain. The first step towards healing is validating them without any judgment.
What You Can Do:
- Keep a journal to write these feelings, so you can look back if or when they come back
- Practice self-compassion; tell yourself that it’s okay to feel this way and that it doesn’t make you weak or broken
- Use affirmations like, “It’s normal to feel this way, and I’m taking steps to heal.”
2. Find a trauma therapist
Therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), somatic therapy, or mindfulness-based cognitive therapy can help you in some amazing ways. As a therapist who works mainly with grief and trauma, my inbox is always open for you.
What You Can Do:
- Join support groups where others share similar experiences. Realising that you aren’t alone takes away a lot of stress.
- Ask a therapist about grounding techniques, so you feel less overwhelmed in between sessions.
3. Create a Safe Space
Feeling unsafe in your environment or relationships can re-trigger old traumas. If you’re in an unhappy or toxic relationship, whether romantic or not, distance yourself from those people.
What You Can Do:
- Set firm boundaries with people who bring negativity or stress into your life
- Create a “safe zone” at home that’s filled with comforting items like soft blankets, calming scents, and soothing music
- Use stress toys or indulge in self-care like drinking your favourite tea or taking a walk down the road
4. Connect With Your Body
Trauma gets stored in your body’s nervous system and gets stimulated by physical symptoms like tension, restlessness, or chronic pain. We wrote an article on it, that you’ll like reading.
What You Can Do:
- Explore body-based practices like yoga, tai chi, or dance to release tension
- Practice breathing exercises when you start to feel overwhelmed
- Try somatic exercises, like tightening and releasing different muscle groups, to reconnect with your body
5. Give Yourself Grace
Healing from trauma is not linear. Here’s another read for you. Some days you’ll feel progress, while others might feel like you’re back at square one. Patience will be your strongest alley in this journey.
What You Can Do:
- Celebrate small victories, like acknowledging a trigger without being overwhelmed or feeling less emotionally intense than before
- Remind yourself that healing is a journey, not a destination. Use mantras like, “I am healing at my own pace”
- Give yourself permission to rest when you need to. You don’t need to constantly work on being better
If you feel stuck in the pain of past trauma, reaching out to a therapist can make all the difference. Healing is possible, and the right support can help you move forward at your own pace. If you’re in Ontario, I’m here to walk with you on your journey. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. Book a free 20-minute consultation today.