Compassion-Focused Therapy

We’re often too hard on ourselves, setting high expectations and feeling like we’ve failed, even when we’ve given it our all. Life gets tough, and self-blame becomes easy.

Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) is designed to help break these cycles by making you kinder towards yourself. It acknowledges emotional struggles and teaches us how to handle them with kindness, not judgement. In a way, it is similar to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Both teach you acceptance, self-love, self-respect, and to think positively.

Paul Gilbert, a British clinical psychologist, developed CFT, which is based on evolutionary psychology, Buddhist principles, and neuroscience. He noticed that many of his clients with depression, anxiety, or trauma were trapped in cycles of self-criticism and shame. And that traditional therapies weren’t enough to address deep-rooted issues.

How Does Compassion-Focused Therapy Work?

It is grounded in the understanding that our brains have evolved with three systems: the threat system (fight or flight), the drive system (achieving and obtaining), and the soothing system (feeling safe and content). When these systems are out of balance, especially when the threat system is overactive, we become overly self-critical, anxious, or ashamed.

Your therapist will use a mix of exercises and strategies, including mindfulness practices, guided imagery, and compassionate thinking, to change how you respond to difficult situations. For example, when you feel overwhelmed, instead of thinking “I am not good enough for this. I should quit”, your compassionate thought would be “It’s okay to feel this way right now. I’m going through a lot, and it’s normal to struggle. I deserve patience and care”.

When you work with me as your virtual therapist in Ontario, I will help you break the cycle of self-criticism, calm the threat system and activate the soothing system, and self-acceptance.