Some traumas feel like there are forever here to stay. You might even ask yourself, “Is my trauma too big to heal from?” This question holds so much fear and uncertainty but it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Let’s talk more about different kinds of trauma and how you can heal from them.
Trauma with Big ‘T’ and little ‘t’
Trauma can be categorised in multiple ways but in this blog, we’ll only talk about trauma with Big ‘T’ and little ‘t’. Big T trauma refers to significant, life-altering events that cause intense distress, like natural disasters, serious accidents, war, or abuse. It often leaves lasting emotional and physical scars. Yet, countless people who’ve faced unimaginable pain have found ways to reclaim their lives.
On the other hand, little t trauma includes more subtle but impactful events, like parents constantly fighting, being bullied, experiencing ongoing criticism, or feeling excluded. While they seem minor at first, they can build over time and deeply affect how you see yourself and interact with the world. Understanding the difference gives you perspective into how long it’ll take to heal and steps towards recovery.
How is trauma stored in your body?
When you experience trauma, stress, or find yourself in a dangerous situation, your nervous system activates the fight, flight, or freeze response. But in case of trauma, when left unresolved, your body remains stuck in survival mode. You feel a constant state of alertness, feeling anxious, exhausted, or unable to relax. It can also manifest as a medical condition like chronic headaches and pain. Somatic therapy is often the best way to help release trauma stored in the body.
Why does healing feel so hard?
Healing can feel slow and frustrating, especially if you’ve carried your trauma for years. Here’s why healing might feel harder for you:
1. Trauma Was Prolonged
Chronic trauma, like ongoing abuse, leaves deeper scars than single-event trauma. Your brain learns to expect danger and struggles to let its guard down.
2. You Didn’t Feel Safe Afterward
As long as you don’t feel safe, you won’t get to process your trauma. Your body continues to be in survival mode.
3. You Haven’t Found the Right Support
Healing doesn’t stop at finding a therapist. You have to put in a lot of self-work, surround yourself with support, and create new habits and thoughts that distract you from the trauma.
What to do if healing feels impossible?
Tiny, manageable steps is the answer. Recognizing your trauma and deciding to make a change is a powerful first step that only you can take.
1. Talk to Someone You Trust
You don’t have to share the whole story, but some bits to get a trusted person understand you makes way for healing. If you feel like a friend or family member won’t understand you, you can join a support group virtually.
2. Try Grounding Techniques
Grounding brings you back to the present when thoughts become too overwhelming. Here’s a simple exercise for you – name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. Other techniques include walking barefoot on grass, holding an ice cube, or breathing deeply while counting backwards.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), somatic therapy, or trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you address traumas with Big T and small t. Healing might not happen overnight, and it doesn’t need to. Help is available, all you have to do is reach out.