Gaslighting isn’t always obvious. You might hear phrases like “You’re too sensitive” or “That never happened,” making you question your perceptions. Over time, this kind of manipulation can make you feel isolated, confused, and even guilty for having feelings. Gaslighters use these tactics to gain or maintain power and control over you. All situations end with them being “always right”.
Some examples of gaslighting
If you’ve heard any of these phrases from your partner regularly, then you aren’t overthinking. Gaslighting damages your perception of reality in the long term, which in turn lowers your confidence.
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “That never happened.”
- “You’re imagining things.”
- “You’re too sensitive.”
- “Stop being so dramatic.”
- “I never said that.”
- “You’re remembering it wrong.”
5 Signs That Your Partner Is Gaslighting You
1. Constantly Deny Your Reality
No one is always right but if your partner frequently corrects things or that some events never happened or happened differently, it is a clear sign of being gaslit. You’ll hear them saying things like “You’re imagining things,” which will make you question your memory.
2. Undermine Your Feelings
When you express how something made you feel, your partner might dismiss your emotions as invalid or overblown. They may say, “You’re too sensitive,” or “You’re overreacting.” You deserve space to feel your emotions. As a partner, they should emphasize with you, talk feelings out, and help you feel better.
3. Shift Blame Onto You
No matter what happens, they twist the situation to make it your fault. If you try to discuss an issue, they turn it around and accuse you of being the problem. They will also Eventually, you find yourself just accepting the blame and stop arguing about it.
4. Isolate You from Support
Your partner might discourage you from seeing friends or family, or they might speak negatively about your loved ones. They’ll often accuse them of not having your best interests at heart. The goal of this isolation is to make you more dependent on them, so it’s easier to control you.
5. Use Confusing Language
Gaslighters often contradict themselves, so they can always keep you on your toes. You’ll find yourself relying on them for clarity and stability.
6. Don’t Appreciate You
We expect our partners to appreciate and care for you, but a gaslighter will do the exact opposite. They might downplay your achievements or ignore your efforts entirely to make you feel like you aren’t good enough.
7. Don’t Let You Talk During an Argument
Arguments can quickly get messy with a gaslighting partner. It goes beyond just not letting you talk. They’ll bring up old things, sometimes in twisted ways.
How to Stop Gaslighting?
1. Trust Your Instincts
Your gut feelings will never be wrong. If you feel like something isn’t right, don’t dismiss those feelings. Learn how to ignore your partner’s words, until they stop affecting your mood or mental health.
2. Document Your Experiences
Keep a journal of events, conversations, and how they made you feel. Writing things down can help you keep track of what’s happening. It’s also a reality check when you doubt yourself.
3. Set Boundaries
Let your partner know that their behavior is unacceptable and that you won’t tolerate it. Ask for a non-judgemental talk where you can express your feelings and suggest ways to help you feel better.
4. Build A Support Support
Talk to friends, family, or a psychotherapist about what you’re experiencing. An outside perspective will help you see things more clearly. Do not ever believe that you are the cause behind your partner’s gaslighting. If you or someone you know if experiencing this, know that help is only a message away.